She has me sit in a chair across from her. She waits until I am seated, and stares at the wall until I uncross my legs, release my clenched fist, and stare into the distance like her. She looks at me again, and I only know because I have really seen nothing and enjoyed it. She smiles, and stares at nothing again. Not connecting with our eyes she speaks slowly, “Nice day.”
I shake my head.
“You and I have nothing to say, and that is as it should be.”
I wonder. “Where do love and peace eat? Shall we get some food there?”
Faith looks at me. I look at her. She speaks. “I have a story to tell you. There was a day a long time ago when I roared at the violence in the world. I spoke from the pulpit and had millions who agreed. I angered at war, and condemned violence.”
I know what she is going to say, but I listen because I love her.
Faith continues. “There is war. There are armies. There is fighting. Who am I to demand its death?”
Rarely do I listen to her in this way. I have nothing to say.
Faith speaks her final thought. “I know that you wonder at what it means to speak.”
Who is speaking?
Who is thinking?
Who is being?
Who is you?
Who is I?
Who is that helper?
Who is that sleeper?
Who is who?
Embrace every answer.
Thank every confusion.
A moment of question
No matter how disturbing
Is the next step toward
peace.
though you are hurt
it is not forever
you can recover
Calm
That day
To wait
Patient
We are
But what is it?
One long
Whisper
To remember
Your touch
Your voice
Your sage
Wisdom
I wish
I could
Feel
Your gaze
Again
You want me dead
Soooooo bad
You want me dead
Soooooo bad you think it and think it and think it
into the LOOOOOK HERE of my eyes
Then someone said
We should kill you
And laughed
Which death is worth it
Which does not cause it
Which does not sing
The E-flat of failure?
Who hears it
When it’s over?
Something feels wrong
I mean really
Isn’t it enough
Not to feel JOY?
Run away
I want to
Damn the hair
The bones
Grrrrrr
What is it?
What IS IT?
That eternal damnation!
That everyday keep away!
Is there a sign?
A message?
Am I death walking?
That’s right
Paranoia
Perhaps we all
In our shame
Carry it
Like lipstick
No more
So says
Faith
The eternal
Forever
Nowhere lady
Keeping the hell away
While the temperature
Of one moment
Passes
“Sucker.”
That’s what she said.
There it is
She zone
Can you
Can you not
When we see
US she IS
Have IT
Some NOT
New ECON
Zone it up
For the new
Harem
Is reliant
Upon
That photo
Stream
And
All That Shit
You GET
EVERYFUCKINGWHERE
Store what?
Sell to them
They want to buy
Themselves
Don’t Read This
It is Formless
And Dangerous
But Now You’ve Done It
Go Wash Your Eyes
Who knew
That who I was
Many a month ago
Nearby that 30 time
Or what I mean
And should say
That what I was
Doing
That was
Making me me
And then what I lost
Through me
Or through actions by me
Would come back
After bye bye
And today
Here I sit
Seeing how
Fucking frightening
It is to
Move into
Tough territory
Fear
Cunning dude
Hello
1) Flatter him.
2) Watch.
3) Didn’t work? Go to tactic 4.
4) Flatter someone else.
5) Never do any of these.
6) Kiss me sugar.
7) Go home and read.
8) Take a healing journey.
9) Ignore the dork.
10) Slip your pretense slyly into his heart.
Words
spit out
but like clouds
no substance
seems so
anyway
I cannot trust you
The ice brushes my soul this night–
The notes of love long gone
Like a moon that howls
Come and embrace me NOW.
The moon rests on an ocean of emptiness,
Marks his time with reflections of happiness,
Of the dancer made distant
Of despair made loneliness
Of the most poignant farewell
From a quiet place so deeply loved
It is the blood in his heart.
It’s all for naught
For never
For no one.
That is the winter I reside in
Seeing myself
My sister
And our mother
Like little swans in a movie
Not made for me.
Farewell alone:
I sleep solemnly
And wish I were not.
For everything has failed;
I waited too long
To sprout.